


Balamb Garden Network v3.0

by Ashbear



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Comedy, Humor, Multi, chatroom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-04
Updated: 2010-06-04
Packaged: 2017-10-09 22:05:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/92101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashbear/pseuds/Ashbear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The FFVIII gang has some less than normal conversations while in Balamb Garden's chatroom. Strange nicknames, minor relationship issues, and time compression's greatest conspiracy is revealed. Co-authored with ffnet's Wayward Tempest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. As the Chatroom Turns...

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, normally I'd shy away from chatroom fics, but again, in order to have all my work posted on one site, I'm placing it on here. This was written with my best friend Wayward Tempest - aka Kupo_22 at RPGamer. Before co-authoring 'Somewhere in Between' together at ffnet, we wrote comedy. The truth being, both of us have a very unique sense of humor.
> 
> This was removed from ffnet when the TOS changed, although I'm not positive of the exact date. However, it has been posted both RPGClassics and on LJ. *Remember* this is a comedy and was only made with the best intentions toward all the characters we love so much...there are a lot of the fandom clichés in here, so be warned.

**Welcome to the Balamb Garden Network**  
A branch of   _http://www.SeeD.com  
_All rights reserved.  
Now Loading…………………………………………  
Please type user name and password  
**Username:** Booyaka_17  
**Password:**  Sirlagunaisahunkofaman

_Processing……………………………._

_Password verified…_Greetings Selphie!

Please select the location that you wish to visit.

You have selected. _Chat._

Please select a name for your chat room:

**Title:**  I really really really really hate curfew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Now loading chat room…………_

_Connecting………._

Connection complete…you may now begin chatting

Please remember to abide by all Garden faculty rules during chat. Profanity, nudity, and plotting against the dead bloated corpse of NORG in the basement will not be tolerated and will result in immediate booting from the chat room.  Thank you, and please remember to flush.

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:**  Arrgg I hate curfew!!!

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:**  I hate it so much, that I’m screaming at myself!!!!

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:**  Geez, c’mon I can’t be the only one up this late…someone sign on!!

  
_Mantastic_Man has joined the conversation._

  
**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** hello darlin.’

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:**  Someone else please!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** aww c’mon Selphie you ain’t still mad at me are you?

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** I leave you alone for 5 minutes Irvine, 5 minutes, and I come back and find you with your tongue down another woman’s throat!!!!!!!!!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** But Sephie, I already told you, she stopped breathing, I was performing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation! Honest!

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** A non-breathing woman couldn’t grab your ass like she did!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:**  Her body had gone into convulsions I was trying to restrain her!

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:**  With your tongue!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:**  I had to make sure her air passages were clear!

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** you take me for a fool don’t you Kinneas?

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:**  She could have died.

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** Just think I’ll play right into your hands!

_**&lt;&lt;ACTION&gt;&gt;:**_ _user Mantastic_Man sobs uncontrollably._

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** awww, Irvy, don’t cry!  I’m sorry, I believe you.

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** So I’m forgiven?

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** of course silly.

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** woohoo!

**&lt;** _**&lt;ACTION&gt;&gt;:** Mantastic_Man gives booyaka_17 a big smooch._

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** tee hee!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** Whose my little Cowgirl Beebop?

_**&lt;&lt;ACTION&gt;&gt;:** user bookyaka_17 blushes.  
_  
**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** C’mon, who is it?

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** ......I am. =)

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;** ya darn tootin! &lt;)=)

  
_iluvhotdogs has joined the conversation.  
_

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** Hi Zell!!!!!!!

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** Hey! S’up guys?

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** hey Zell, how’s it goin?

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** Awesome!! Right before they called curfew, I snuck in to the cafeteria and grabbed a pack of frozen hotdogs!!!!!

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** But Zell, you don’t have anything to cook them with.

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:**  Dogcicles babbbyyyyyyy!!!!!!

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** Ewwww gross!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** You…are a sadly obsessed man.

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:**  AM NOT!!!!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** But there is hope for you…admitting it is the first step towards recovery…just let it all out…repeat after me. “Hello, my name is Zell Dincht, and I…am wiener obsessive.

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** lol!

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** I’m gonna kick your ass Kinneas!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** my beautiful ass would repel that kick!

**&lt;ilovehotdogs&gt;:** Not when I knock that hat off it!!

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** ooohhh good one!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** Selphie!

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** Sorry…but you have to admit…that was pretty smooth.

_**&lt;&lt;ACTION&gt;&gt;:** user iluvhotdogs grins victoriously   
_  
**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** wiener enthusiast!

  
_Whip_It_Good has joined the conversation._

  
**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:**   Quisty!!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** Wooo Quistis! what kind of chat rooms have you been in with that name?!?

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** WOW, Quistis has a naughty side!

**&lt;Whip_It_Good&gt;:**  oh grow up boys, it’s not what you think.

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** Oh, make me a man Quisty, PLEASE!  You can whip me all night long!

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:**  Stop that Irvine!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** Just jerkin her chain Selphie ;)

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** LOL

**&lt;Whip_It_Good&gt;:** ugh, fine!

  
_Whip_It_Good has left the conversation._

  
**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:**  jeeze I was just kiddin…kinda

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** ?!?

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** just kidding again!!

_Instructor_Trepe has joined the conversation.  
_

**&lt;Instructor_Trepe&gt;:** IS THIS BETTER?!?

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:**  ooooh, the INSTRUCTOR is going to give us a lesson on the finer points of whipping it good.

**&lt;Instructor_Trepe&gt;:** STOP THAT!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** I brought you an apple…*wink wink* ;)

  
_Instructor_Trepe has left the conversation._

  
**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** LOL you better ease up man, she’s gonna pound you into the ground!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** the day I can’t push Quisty’s buttons is the day Selphie chains me naked to the wall, does a strip tease in front of me and perform blatant sex acts upon my person!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;**:………….

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** That give you any ideas for later miss booyaka?

**&lt;boyaka_17&gt;:** In your dreams buddy boy!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:**  hey, I had to try.

  
_A_Big_Ugly_Ochu has joined the conversation_

  
**&lt;A_Big_Ugly_Ochu&gt;:** JUST TRY AND GET SEXUAL INNUENDO OUT OF THIS NAME COWBOY!!!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:**  hey you won’t here another peep out of me……………but you do know that ochus can change their gender at will don’t you?

**&lt;A_Big_Ugly_Ochu&gt;:** ARRRRRGGGHHHHH!

  
_A_Big_Ugly_Ochu has left the conversation.  
_

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** Damn I love preying on her insecurities.

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** oh oh, I want the next one!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** sure thing ween-o-holic

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** I am not addicted!!!!!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** what ever gets you through the day man.

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:**  you guys coming to the celebration that is celebrating the celebration that we had last Tuesday for the defeat of Ultimecia?

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** that Garden committee has waaaayyy too much time on their hands.

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** well…we ran out of party names.  
__

Prisoner 1129-6969 has joined the conversation.

  
**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** Seifer!!

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** hey everyone look! Its prison bitch!

**&lt;Prisoner 1129-6969&gt;:**  Hello to the room…. and chicken wuss. 

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** !!!!!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** hey seifer, howz prison?

**&lt;Prisoner 1129-6969&gt;:** meh, its ok…get lots of time to sleep…which is the time I’m supposed to be spending thinking of all the horrible wrongs I’ve committed…but…I enjoy the sleeping.  No one dares bother me, not even the  guards, cuz they know what an ass whoopin they’d get.

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** So whose bitch are you for this week? Is it Butch? Or maybe Spike?

**&lt;Prisoner 1129-6969&gt;:** Cowboy…I’m gonna beat you so hard when I get out of here.

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** No thanks. I don’t swing that way.  My calling is with the ladies.

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** !

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** I mean LADY, as in singular, as in MY LADY sephie.

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** maaan you are so whipped.  
**  
&lt;Prisoner 1129-6969&gt;:** So chicken wuss, you still layin eggs on a daily basis?

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** STOP CALLING ME THAT!

**&lt;Prisoner 1129-6969&gt;:** ok, I’m sorry.  This is one of those little steps I have to take, undo the emotional hurt that I have caused to others. So I must try. Zell, I’m really, honestly, sorry.

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** really? Wow that’s so big of you to say to me.

**&lt;Prisoner 1129-6969&gt;:** How bout chicken wiener?

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** LMAO!!!

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** DAMMIT!!! C’MON LETS GO YOU AND ME ONE ON ONE PUNK!!!!!! I’LL MY FINAL HEAVEN YOUR SORRY ASS INTO NEXT YEAR!

**&lt;Prisoner 1129-6969&gt;:** Now, now don’t go getting your pink thong panties in a bunch.

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** hey, how’d you know?

**&lt;iluvehotdogs&gt;:** er…um…I mean…WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** woohoo Zell is KiNkY!

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** AM NOT! 

**&lt;Prisoner 1129-6969&gt;:** Shit, I gotta go, they’re doing cell inspection.  I’ll be back later.

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** bye seifer!    

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** good luck with the cavity search!

  
_Prisoner 1129-6969 has left the conversation.  
_

_RAGE_chick has joined the conversation.  
_

_Cupcake has joined the conversation_.

  
**&lt;RAGE_chick&gt;:** GREETINGS. #_^

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** Hi Fujin! 

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** s’up Fuu?

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** hey hey

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** Hi cupcake! Umm who are you?

**&lt;Cupcake&gt;:** er, nobody you’d know, ya know.

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** Raijin?

**&lt;Cupcake&gt;:** dammit, how’d ya know?

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** Lol! Oh this is great! Where’s the camera?

_**&lt;&lt;ACTION&gt;&gt;** user iluvhotdogs snickers._

**&lt;RAGE_chick&gt;:** LOL.

**&lt;RAGE_chick&gt;:** RAIJIN. TRIPLE TRIAD. BET. LOST.

**&lt;RAGE_chick&gt;:** RAIJIN. NOW CUPCAKE. ONE WEEK. HA. HA.

**&lt;Cupcake&gt;: **it’s not very funny ya know.

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** oh but it is, Cupcake.

  
_Ultimecia has joined the conversation._

  
**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** what the?!?

**&lt;Ultimecia&gt;:** KURSE ALL SEEDS!

**&lt;Ultimecia&gt;:** Swarming like lokusts through cyber space! Using my kredit kard to purchase guardian forces on Ebay!!  KURSE you all!  And now, I shall kompress this chat room, and no one will exist!! BEHOLD! The most powerful GF!

  
_Griever has joined the conversation.  
_

**&lt;Ultimecia&gt;:** Griever! Make them bleed!

**&lt;Griever&gt;:** umm…grr! or whatever.

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** Squall?

**&lt;Ultimecia&gt;:** Oh that was dripping with enthusiasm.  Geez, did you fail drama Squall?

**&lt;Griever&gt;:** um…yeah…pretty much.

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** Rinoa? Is that you?

**&lt;Ultimecia&gt;:** heheh, yeah selphie its me.

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** OH DEAR HYNE IN HEAVEN THEY WERE RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

**&lt;Ultimecia&gt;:** huh?

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** THE WEBSITE!! ITS ALL TRUE!!! RINOA IS ULTIMECIA! It's so clear in a really bizarre twisted reasoning way to me now!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!!

**&lt;RAGE_chick&gt;:**  WEBSITE. STUPID.

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** The whole animated thing where they transformed your face into hers!!! I feel like such a clueless fool. WHY DON’T I BELIEVE EVERYTHING I SEE?!?!?

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** OH THIS IS TERRIBLE!!! HOW COULD YOU RINOA?!?  And where do you pick up that really weird accent?

**&lt;Ultimecia&gt;:** Um..Selphie…I’m not Ultimecia, I was kidding.

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** AND YOU TURNED SQUALL INTO A BIG HAIRY GF!!!! That’s not a very nice thing to do to someone you love! How do you think he’s going to react? Hmm? Have you considered his feelings miss destroyer of time?

** &lt;Griever&gt;:**  Actually, its not so bad…I don’t need can openers any more.

**&lt;Ultimecia&gt;:**  Ok, this is not a good time for sarcasm dear. You’re fueling the fire.

**&lt;Griever&gt;:**  Sorry, I have to work on timing don’t I?

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** Um, Selphie, calm down a couple of notches.

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** Yeah, Selphie, Rinoa can’t be Ultimecia, she can’t even stand up straight in stilettos.

**&lt;Ultimecia&gt;:** They are evil!  The person who invented them should be drug out into the street and shot…many times.

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** It can be arranged. 

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** I can’t believe it! She’s brainwashed everyone!  WAKE UP!! YOU PEOPLE ARE SUPPORTING THE ENDER OF THE WORLD!!

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** Someone’s been in the conspiracy candy jar again.

**&lt;Cupcake&gt;:**  She’s about to bust a blood vessel, ya know.

**&lt;Ultimecia&gt;:**  Look ok, I’m done…joke over, this didn’t have the effect I had planned. My apologies.  Griever is sorry too.

**&lt;Griever&gt;:** grrrr, baby….or whatever.

**&lt;&lt;ACTION&gt;&gt;:** _user Ultimecia scratches user Griever behind the ears_.

**&lt;Ultimecia&gt;:** Down boy! ^_~

**&lt;Griever&gt;:** woof!

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** tragic love!! Ohhh it can only end in heartache.

_**&lt;&lt;ACTION&gt;&gt;:** user Ultimecia sighs._

  
_User Ultimecia has left the conversation.  
_

_User Squall’s_Meanie has joined the conversation._

  
**&lt;Squall’s_Meanie&gt;:** okay, is this better now?  I am not, nor will I ever be Ultimecia!  Anyway, she has horrible fashion sense.

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** tee hee! Yeah I know.

**&lt;Squall’s_Meanie&gt;:**  Huh?

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** Just jerkin your chain. ^_^

**&lt;Squall’s_Meanie&gt;:**  Wow…that was very uncharacteristically mean of you.

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:**  I know! I’ve been practicing.

**&lt;Griever&gt;:** So how is everyone tonight?

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:**  WONDERFUL!!!!!!

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:**  I’m good.

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** Couldn’t be better…Gee Squall, thank you so much for caring. I knew you had it in you!

**&lt;Griever&gt;:** “………..”

**&lt;Squall’s_Meanie&gt;:** I can’t believe you just typed that Squall.

**&lt;Cupcake&gt;:** Lousy, ya know?  Lost all my damn cards ya know.

**&lt;RAGE_chick&gt;:**  Well, I’m doing okay.  Went to the harbor this morning.  The weather was so nice and warm.  And I found a fuzzy kitty!  He was so cute and sweet!  We spent many hours on the dock just watching the fish and waving at the sailboats.  And we shared an ice cream cone!

**&lt;Griever&gt;: **………..!

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** ……….!!

**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** ………!!!

**&lt;Cupcake&gt;:** …………..!!!!

**&lt;Squall’s_Meanie&gt;** …………….!!!!!

**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:**  Oh my God!

**&lt;RAGE_chick&gt;:** WHAT? PROBLEM?

**&lt;Griever&gt;:** er…no.

**&lt;RAGE_chick&gt;:** RAGE.

**&lt;&lt;ACTION&gt;&gt;:** user RAGE_chick kicks user Cupcake in the shin.

**&lt;Cupcake&gt;:** OW! That even hurts in here ya know!

  
_Instructor_Trepe  has joined the conversation._

  
**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** Quistis Trepe.  Instructor by day, Dominatrix by night.

  
_Instructor_Trepe has left the conversation._

  
**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** Not bad, rookie.  The Force is strong with you.

**&lt;&lt;ACTION&gt;&gt;:** user iluvhotdogs gives user Mantastic_Man a high-five.

**&lt;Squall’s Meanie&gt;:** are you guys being mean to quistis again?!?

**&lt;Griever&gt;:** cool.

  
_President_of_Esthar has joined the conversation_

  
**HOST USER GRIEVER HAS BANNED USER PRESIDENT_OF_ESTHAR FROM CHATROOM FOR 24 HOURS. REASON:** _No estranged fathers allowed!  
_

_Seer_of_the_past has joined the conversation._

  
**HOST USER GRIEVER HAS BANNED USER SEER_OF_THE_PAST FROM CHATROOM FOR 24 HOURS. REASON:** _No manipulative head-trips!!!_

  
**&lt;iluvhotdogs&gt;:** Damn Squall you're on a roll aren’t you?

  
**HOST USER GRIEVER HAS BANNED USER ILUVHOTDOGS FROM CHATROOM FOR 24 HOURS. REASON:** _Yes, I am._

  
**&lt;Griever&gt;:** It’s good to be the commander.

**&lt;booyaka_17&gt;:** Hey Squall that wasn’t very nice!

  
**HOST USER GRIEVER HAS BANNED USER BOOYAKA_17 FROM CHATROOM FOR 24 HOURS. REASON:** _Yes, I know, neither am I._

  
**&lt;Mantastic_Man&gt;:** Heey! Don’t be booting my woman!

  
**HOST USER GRIEVER HAS BANNED USER MANTASTIC_MAN FROM CHATROOM FOR 24 HOURS. REASON:** _Fear not, I have enough boots for all.  
_

**HOST USER GRIEVER HAS BANNED USERS RAGE_CHICK AND CUPCAKE FROM CHATROOM FOR 24 HOURS. REASON:** _BECAUSE ya know.  
_

**&lt;Griever&gt;:** Now then, that’s much better.

**&lt;Squall’s_Meanie&gt;:**  Geez Squall, why’d you do that?

**&lt;Griever&gt;:** Need privacy…with you.

**&lt;Squall’s_Meanie&gt;** We could have made our own private chatroom.

**&lt;Griever&gt;:** I know, but that was so much fun.

**&lt;Squall’s_Meanie&gt;:** You meanie! =P

**&lt;Griever&gt;:** Can’t help it. I’m a GF with needs woman!

**&lt;Squall’s_Meanie&gt;:** Oh really? And what exactly would those needs be?

**&lt;Griever&gt;:** I need you…to junction me…NOW.

**&lt;Squall’s_Meanie&gt;:**  Ooo, I love it when you talk dirty.

**&lt;Griever&gt;:** back of the training center in 5 minutes?

**&lt;Squall’s_Meanie&gt;:** Race ya?

**&lt;Griever&gt;:** You’re on!

  
_Squall’s_Meanie has left the conversation.  
_

_Griever has left the conversation._

  
_Whip_It_Good has joined the conversation.  
_

**&lt;Whip_It_Good&gt;:** OK, that’s it! I’ve had enough of you two ignorant boys and your name-calling!!!!!!!!!

**&lt;Whip_It_Good&gt;:** ……where’d everybody go?

**&lt;Whip_It_Good&gt;:** Damn, I’m lonely.

  
_User I_get_to_use_the_laptop_while_my_owner_is_out_getting_some has joined the conversation._

  
**&lt;I_get_to_use_the_laptop_while_my_owner_is_out_getting_some&gt;:** woof! Arf! Growl Awooooooooooooooooooooo!

**&lt;Whip_It_Good&gt;:** I’m not that lonely…


	2. Days of Our Chatrooms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I think this originally dated back to 2001 - I found it on the dark recesses of my hard drive. This really isn't indicative of our writing style, but it was fun back in the day, and quite a break from the 100k angsty, dramatic fics we normally write. ;)
> 
> New screen names, new characters, and more randomness...and poor Nida still hasn't been paid.

Balamb Garden Network Ver. 3.01_:_ _“Days of our Chatrooms”_

  
**Welcome to the Balamb Garden Network  
**A branch of  _<http://www.SeeD.com>  
_All rights reserved.  
Now Loading_…………………………………………  
_Please type user name and password  
**Username:** Useless_Character  
**Password:** ihatemylife

 _Processing……………………………._

 _Password verified_…Greetings Nida!

 Please select the location that you wish to visit.

 **You have selected.** Chat.

 Please select a name for your chat room:

 **Title:**  Will Someone Please Tell Me When Supporting Characters Are Getting Paid?

 _Now loading chat room…………_

 _Connecting………._

 Connection complete…you may now begin chatting:

Please remember to abide by all Garden faculty rules during chat. Profanity, nudity, and plotting against the dead bloated corpse of NORG in the basement will not be tolerated and will result in immediate booting from the chat room.  Thank you, and please remember to flush.  And our cafeteria staff would like to remind everyone of “Mystery Meat Monday,” beginning tomorrow at 1100 hours.  Guess the meat, survive 24 hours of food poisoning, and receive a coupon for a chance to send away for another coupon which is good for a coupon that is good for one free Malboro tentacle, the gift that keeps on giving.

**&lt;Useless_Character&gt;:** It’s been over 2 years damn it and I have not seen one single cent from this franchise!  Where has all the gil gone?!?!  Why has no one called me about cameo appearances in 9 or 10?!? Which I hear have both been released!!!!! Why is my face not on the front of the greatest hits logo like they promised?!?

**&lt;Useless_Character&gt;:** *sigh*  Why isn’t there anyone in here to whine to?

  
_Trepie_Pleaser5000 has joined the conversation._

   
**&lt;Useless_Character&gt;:** Hey Quistis, just the person I wanted to talk too!!!!

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;:** Oh great, its Nida, break out the violins. What are you moping about this time?

**&lt;Useless_Character&gt;:** Um...er...well nothing really, just the fact that I haven’t seen a paycheck in over two years. Did you get paid?

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;:** Last night? Of course.

**&lt;Useless_Character&gt;:** No, no, I mean for the game.

** _&lt;&lt;ACTION&gt;&gt;:_ ** _ Trepie_Pleaser5000 blushes_

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;:** Oh, right, that, of course I did. So did everyone else.

**&lt;Useless_Character&gt;:** Even Xu?

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;:** Of course, what do you think she used to buy that enormous shrine to Cid with?

**&lt;Useless_Character&gt;:** Damn it!  Then where the hell is my money?

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;:** Don’t look at me, I don’t write your paychecks.

**&lt;Useless_Character&gt;:** ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!!!

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;:** Nothing ever is.  Especially to supporting characters.

   
_i_luv_cid has joined the conversation._

   
**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:** I heard that Quistis!!!

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;:** speak of the diablo.  Hi Xu...Edea know you are wearing her husband in here?

**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:** oh ha ha.  I’ll have you know he is like a father to me, nothing more.

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;:** uh huh, right...whatever gets you through. *cough* denial *cough*

**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:** well it’s not group orgies with your disciples thats for damn sure.

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;: **.........I can’t help it if I’m popular.

**&lt;Useless_Character&gt;:** No one remembers me...

**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:** Oh great, hi Nida.

**&lt;Useless_Character&gt;:** *SIGHS HEAVILY* hi.

**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:** Okay, I just know I’m going to regret this...how are you?

**&lt;Useless_Character&gt;:** HORRIBLE my day was HORRIBLE, first I woke up this morning next to a road kill bite bug.  Apparently someone thought it would be funny to put one on my pillow.  It scared me so bad I jumped from the bed and hit my head over the corner of my nightstand.  I lay in the floor for many hours, because no one cares enough to come check on me...so I awoke with a headache due to a severe concussion and a nasty feeling in my pajamas because I had soi

  
**User Trepie_Pleaser5000 has banned Useless_Character from the chatroom for 24 hours REASON:** _ I really couldn’t stand to hear anymore._

   
**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:** God bless you.

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;: **Yes, yes, you’re welcome.

   
_King_Of_Fighters has joined the conversation._

  
**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;: **hi Zell

**&lt;I_luv_cid&gt;:** hey Zell

**&lt;King_Of_Fighters&gt;:** Hey ladies, what’s shaking?

**&lt;King_Of_Fighters&gt;:**...besides Quisty’s mattress *laughs*

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;: **Watch it weenie man.

**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:** not much here Zell, what’ve you been up to?

**&lt;King_Of_Fighters&gt;:** meh, not much.  Just got back from takin’ my library goddess out for dinner.

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;:** you mean she isn’t tired of hotdogs yet?

**&lt;King_Of_Fighters&gt;:** tired...of hotdogs?!?!  Surely there’s no such thing!  Though she did look a big green tonight....nah it’s just not possible.

   
_Man_Hood has joined the conversation_

   
**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:** who is that?

**&lt;Man_Hood&gt;:** well, well a room with two foxy ladies...and Zell.

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;: **hi Irvine.

**&lt;Man_Hood&gt;:** hey there darlin’ are the trepies the only ones you please, cuz ya know, I’m not a trepie...but I could certainly learn. *wink wink*

** _&lt;&lt;ACTION&gt;&gt;_ ** _ Trepie_Pleaser5000 rolls eyes_

**&lt;King_Of_Fighters&gt;:** what’s with the name Irvine?

   
_Maid_Manhood has joined the conversation_

   
**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:** oh wait...let me guess...you and Selphie are getting along again.

**&lt;Man_Hood&gt;:**  you bet your Cid tattoo.

**&lt;Maid_Manhood&gt;:** HI EVERYONE!  hey, there you are my big ol’ stallion stud!!

**&lt;King_Of_Fighters&gt;:** Well, ya know word does get around fast...

**&lt;Man_Hood&gt;:** She was talking to me you goof.  Hey there my little cowgirl, how was the riding lesson?

**&lt;King_Of_Fighters&gt;:** Oh Hyne, I’m going to be sick.

**&lt;Maid_Manhood&gt;:** Tee Hee!

**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:** Please, there are other people in here who would like to keep their microwave dinners for one down in their stomachs.

**&lt;Man_Hood&gt;:** what’s a matter Xu?  You jealous?

**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:** Hah, hardly...

**&lt;Man_Hood&gt;:** yeah I thought so...you be wanting some o dis right

**&lt;Maid_Manhood&gt;:** Irvine...this is  your 10 second warning.

**&lt;Man_Hood&gt;:** Okay! Sorry dear!!!!!

**&lt;Maid_Manhood&gt;:** Good. 

**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:** and gimme a W to the H to the I to the P to the P to the E to the D.

**&lt;Man_Hood&gt;:** I am not!!!!!!!!!!!

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;: **Oh yes, I think you are.

**&lt;King_Of_Fighters&gt;:** wait...I’m trying to spell it out...

**&lt;Man_Hood&gt;:** oh right, you know all about whipping don’t you?

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;: **..........

**&lt;Man_Hood&gt;:** Yeah, I thought so.

**&lt;Maid_Manhood&gt;:** Okay you guys quit fighting...now I must bring up something of great importance!!!  What color should the floating cactuar candles in the punch be at tommorrow night’s festival celebrating the celebration of the celebration of that other celebration where we celebrated the celebration of defeating Ultimecia.  Should we go with puce or dandelion pink?

**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:** another party?  c’mon selphie surely the committee can do other things

**&lt;King_Of_Fighters&gt;:** Yeah...like a hotdog festival!

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;: **ah another party...another morning hangover in someone else’s dorm room ........again.

**&lt;Man_Hood&gt;:** ..........

**&lt;Maid_Manhood&gt;:**  .......

**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:**............

**&lt;King_Of_Fighters&gt;:** ...........

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;: **oops did I type that outloud?

**&lt;Man_Hood&gt;:** Um Selphie, if I may ask...where do you find pink dandelions? and aren’t cactuars supposed to be green?

**&lt;Maid_Manhood&gt;:** ........THATS IT IRVY WE’RE THROUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

   
_Maid_Manhood has left the conversation._

   
**&lt;Man_Hood&gt;:** Aw, dammit not again!  Sheesh...women.  Well you two ladies behave yourselves, I must go reconcile with my woman usin’ my manly charms.

   
_Man_Hood has left the conversation._

   
**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:**  he’ll be in the infirmary again in the morning won’t he?

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;: **without a doubt.

   
_Angel_Wingz has joined the conversation._

   
**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;: **hi Rinoa

**&lt;King_Of_Fighters&gt;:** Hiya Rin!

**&lt;Angel_Wingz&gt;:** *yawnz* hey Quistis, Xu and Zell

**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:**  Hey Rinoa, what’s up?

**&lt;Angel_Wingz&gt;:** er...not me yet...I need coffee.

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;: **what have you been doing?

**&lt;Angel_Wingz&gt;:** Oh not much...just messing around...ya know...stuff

**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:**  Squall gonna be here tonight?

**&lt;Angel_Wingz&gt;:** Yeah he’s just getting his pants on.

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;: **!!

**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:**  !!

**&lt;Angel_Wingz&gt;:** er oops! I mean, yeah he’s coming!

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;: **I swear you two are like rabbits.

** _&lt;&lt;ACTION&gt;&gt;:_ ** _ user Angel_Wingz blushes_

   
_Chat_To_A_Wall has joined the conversation._

   
**&lt;Chat_To_A_Wall&gt;:**  Your love monkey has returned my wicked sorceress!!!

**&lt;King_Of_Fighters&gt;:** AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;: **LOL!!!!!

**&lt;i_luv_cid&gt;:**  LOL!!!

**&lt;Chat_To_A_Wall&gt;:** ...........

**&lt;Angel_Wingz&gt;:** Oh dear.

**&lt;Chat_To_A_Wall&gt;:**  Rin...I thought we were going to get a private chatroom.....

**&lt;Angel_Wingz&gt;:** Sorry, apparently sorceresses can’t make their own chatrooms here...I was abruptly halted by the Odine bandwidth.  I must complain about equal rights more around here...though I don’t think a marching parade of one will be very successful....

**&lt;Chat_To_A_Wall&gt;:**  um...hi everyone...or...whatever.

**&lt;King_Of_Fighters&gt;:** wazzup love monkey?!? haahaha

**&lt;Chat_To_A_Wall&gt;:**  Zell...don’t push me.

**&lt;Trepie_Pleaser5000&gt;: **hey love monkey would you like a banana?

**&lt;Chat_To_A_Wall&gt;:**  Quistis....read my name.


End file.
